Thursday, December 1, 2011

Christmas is Coming

Before Thanksgiving break my roommate and I were in the Christmas spirit and decided to go buy a Christmas tree! And yes, we have been listening to Christmas music for a couple months now. Don't be haters.


Isn't it a beauty?!


This makes my day to walk through the door to be greeted with this sight. Absolutely beautiful. Gives me that warm fuzzy feeling. No not love, 
the Christmas spirit! 

Due to the fact that I missed Thanksgiving and haven't blogged in forever (like usual) I want to say that I am thankful for family and friends. They are the greatest blessings. In addition, I am so grateful for my religion and beliefs. It brings joy and hope to me everyday. 

Things haven't gone as planned lately but that doesn't mean life can't be the best it can be. :) It's fandangtastic!

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Lack of Game

These last couple weeks I have come to a harsh reality... I am a complete awkward mess when it comes to boys. Yep, I have ZERO GAME.

Cuddling is suddenly foreign.
Cuddling has never been foreign.



Should I hold his hand? What will he think . . .
OR
He's holding my hand . . What is he thinking?!
(Yes, I am back in middle school when holding hands is a big deal. Kissing gets even more complicated. I will leave that for another day's blog.)


Here is a resent senario of my life -  I met this adorable guy and saw him on campus.

Him: "Shay!"
Me: "Hey!' I paused because of course it was his turn to add to the conversation . . . Right?? Wrong.

I suddenly became a nervous reck.
Like I had never talked to an attractive boy in my life.
I didn't know how to act.
I got ahead of myself and spoke to soon.

"How are you? What are you up to? Did ya just get out of class? Where you headed?"

EASY SHAYLA! I cut him off from asking how I was doing. To make it worse, I just asked him 50 billion questions at once.
Wow. 
I ran away from that conversation as quickly as I could.
Blew it.

Another scenario is the Shy Shay. I stay quite and just listen the whole time. I don't even notice I'm doing it until they say something. "You're being extremely quiet. What do you think?" Then I go bright red from embarrassment. At that moment I usually say something completely ridiculous because I was caught off-guard. 

There are Many More scenarios I could share but I would rather not embarrass myself further.

I can't seem to get this dating thing right. 

I need a dating 101 refresher course because I am struggling. Big time. 

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

5 YAYS!

I've decided to try not taking the little things for granted. Recognizing what puts that grin on my face each day is what I want to focus on more. I want to record 5 things that makes me want to say "yay!"during any given day of each week. Plus, it takes my mind off other things. Always replace good thoughts with weak ones.

1. Summer dresses!

I love wearing dresses. 
They make me feel flamboyant. 

2. Having the day off of work to do whatever my heart desires.

Time for relaxation and being lazy is one of the greatest things in the world. Especially when I have someone to share that day with. Whether it is with friends or family. 

3. Good hair days.

Good hair days are fantastic! 
I feel like a whole new confident woman.

4. FREE activities!

Excellent entertainment and I don't have to pay a dime??
PLEASE and THANK YOU!

5. Exercising and feeling accomplished.

It's such a great feeling when you know you have done something productive for yourself. Working out has been my escape lately. I can't seem to get enough of it!


And those are my 5 YAYS! for the day.  Catch more next week :)

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Fear of the "M" word

I feel like there is a great deal of pressure in this society on young adults to get married. Don't get me wrong, marriage is a wonderful thing. To find your best friend and someone who loves you and you can love in return is wonderful. So why put on the pressure to finding that special someone. If things are rushed, then you miss out on the joys of getting to know one another, seeing how each other react in different situations, and making memories to last a lifetime.

I see some of my friends that want to get married and start that part of their life but they just can't find that certain someone. Then they start to doubt themselves.

Am I pretty enough? 
Do they not like my personality? 

No one should ever think these thoughts! You were made the way you were for a reason. Don't try to change yourself for others. You may not get along with everyone. Some people may not like you for you, so move on. There is something greater waiting for you. You need someone who sees who you really are; looks at your personality and can't get enough of it.

I know so many girls who would be wonderful mothers and wives but Prince Charming has not yet mounted his white stallion and swept them off their feet. But he will. Life is so excited. It's short lived, so enjoy it! Don't stress over marriage. Every minute you stress, is a minute you can't replace with happiness.

All of the young ladies I know are wonderful! Each have different strengths and weaknesses. No one is perfect. I am far from it and I know this. I'm trying to better myself every day.

One of my weaknesses is marriage. It is one of my greatest fears. Really, it is. I avoid it like the plague sometimes because I am so afraid of it. I do not feel prepared to take that step in my life.

If marriage is even mentioned, I run. It's part of my weakness. I do feel those pressures of marriage. I'm about to be 21 and I feel like an old maid. But I'M NOT! 21 is so young!! Peer pressure is something that I have Never fallen into. However, the pressure of marriage feels like a burden to me...

"So who are you dating now days?? Things getting serious?.."
Can anyone say: Slap of marriage right to the face!

Marriage is wonderful but I have seen things in my life that I would never want to experience. Couples that were once so happy, now struggle or get divorced. What happened to that happiness? In order for me to be able to handle this fear, I need someone that feels like the adventure begins when we meet and date. Not once I have the title of girlfriend or there is a ring on my finger . Otherwise, I will run. And I will run fast. I'm not kidding around when I say this is a FEAR.

My fear is very ironic. I personally don't feel ready for marriage, but I love weddings!! I love to see how happy the bride and groom are. Not to mention, I love all the flowers. There is happiness in the air. You can almost taste it. One day I'll get there. Just not today. 

I feel like Jennifer Lopez in the Wedding Planner. I love weddings but I fear putting myself at the altar. 

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Quotes

Two quotes I came across that I absolutely love.


grant me the serenity 
to accept the things
i cannot change
the courage to change
the things i can,
and the wisdom 
to know the difference.
~niebuhr


Take chances, take a lot of them.
Because honestly, no matter where
you end up and with whom, it always
ends up just the way it should be. 
Your mistakes make you who you are.
You learn and grow with each
choice you make. Everything is
worth it. Say how you feel, always.
Be you, and be okay with it.
~Unknown


I hope you love them just as much as I do. 
Take chances, live life. What do you have to lose?? 
NOTHING.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Easter Weekend

When I was little, Easter used to be a big deal. We would wakeup early to find that the Easter Bunny had come to visit us. It brought lots of candy, movies, and an easter dress. This was a well looked forward to holiday!

Now that we are all "older" the Easter Bunny only comes for the little tykes. This year plastic eggs filled with candy were hidden all over the lawn Saturday. I wasn't there to witness this event but I heard the Easter Bunny was still lingering around after the fact. . . Once the kids had gathered all the eggs, a little bunny ran across the lawn. Ironic? I think not. Have a little faith people and believe.  :)

On the true day of Easter, we all went to church as a fam. (Except Danish and Bud. Work was their Easter. Sad day.) One thing to note - If there are more than two children under the age of 6 sitting on a bench with you, you should pretty much already know that you will not be listening to the talks.

The rest of the day was filled with laughter and love. It consumes the home when we are all together. This is how fantastically attractive and creative us Alders can be . . . .


Tryson in the background is my favorite

We received incredible genes

I'm feeling the love

One normal picture to top it off

Fantastic day. They never fail to make me happy, laugh, and smile.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Tender. Breakable. Repairable.

Love. Such a  tender word. What even is love?? Longing to be with someone… You look at them and it sends a smile from ear to ear… You’d do anything for them… The person gives you butterflies... You feel THEIR sorrows, sadness, AND happiness… You feel like one person together…

Love is an amazing feeling. But it can hurt. It can hurt real badly. There is nothing more to say. You think that you have life at your fingertips and then it’s all gone in a split second. 
So here I am lying in bed. I have no motivation to go to class. Which is fine because I don’t really like my Tuesday/Thursday class anyways.

So yes, I am hurt. Most of my day yesterday was spent working my tear ducts. I believe they have been fully exercised now. I HATE crying so, so much. Mostly I dislike it when people see me cry. I feel weak and vulnerable.

So no I didn’t want to answer the phone when you called me three times in a row. Why?... 

1. I didn’t want you to know how much it really hurts. I was trying to be strong and do the right thing.

2. I couldn’t even talk on the phone. It was ridiculous really. 

When I finally answered after a pleading text to just talk, my heart sank to hear your voice. Oh how I’d missed it. Once you heard I was crying, you said you just wanted to hold me and make me feel better. I wanted you to hold me too. That gave me so much comfort, although you just made me cry even more. The floodgates opened. You called me babe and sweetheart. I love when you turn all tender and the walls fall down. You are no longer trying to be strong. You would do anything for me.  

This hurts. It hurts so bad. I just crushed my own heart. How could I do that…

So much has happened in my life the past three months that it could pretty much be made into a movie. I think it would do quite well against the critics. It’s filled with happiness, love, sorrow, despair and so much more.


I was talking to my Dadio today and he somehow helped turn all the numerous random thoughts that are swimming around in my mind into words of wisdom. After I spoke, I had to take it in. Take it to heart. These were the words: “It’s hard to not focus so much on the past because I can see it. I can reflect on it. The future is so unknown that it’s hard to hope for the best right now. So I just have to look at it as an adventure and live life to the fullest; not looking back.” After those words, I felt like a guru. A possible career for me?? Ok, maybe not.

Sometimes I tend to do this thing called repel the people that love me. Why? I don’t really know, but I do know that I follow the feelings that guide and direct me day to day. I trust those feelings. After the heart heals. . . There is still another who has shown me love and would do anything for me. So why am I holding back? . . . . 




I'm trying to dance in the rain even though it's pouring out. I can hear the thunder and see the lightning. 


Time to turn up the music. 

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

Can't Avoid Those days

Today is just one of those days . . .

I don't want to complain though. I want to be happy. What better way to be happy than to be thankful for what you have.

One: I am thankful for family. Family is one thing I take for granted too often. (This is only some of the fam)



Two: I am thankful for friends. I don't know what I would do without them. (this pic is meant to represent all my little friends :D )


friendsCartoon.jpg

Three: I am thankful for flowers. They brighten up my day no matter what. Sometime in the future when I have a house of my own, I want to pick it up and place it in a field of flowers, or have a flower shop of my own.


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Four: I am thankful for happy people. Not the overly happy people, just happy. They remind me to stop being a grump.


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Five: I am thankful for this nasty cold weather. It makes me grateful for summer!

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Six: I am thankful for Mexico. Yep, I said Mexico. Why? Because I get to disappear for a week on a cruise to Mexico! I have always wanted to do something like this and now it is quickly approaching.

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Ok, I feel a little better now.  :)

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

One Glimpse Changes All

What do I mean when I say "one glimpse changes all,"well I don't really know yet . . . I do, but I don't . .

I wake up each morning ready to take on another day, but I feel like I've been living it with my eyes closed tight.

I use to play this game when I was little where I would close my eyes and try to get from point A to point B. It was all fun and games until I would run into a wall or stub a toe. 

This is what I've been playing as of late. I walk around living a college life. My eyes are closed to what's around me. I go with the flow and enjoy things as they come. A door is shut tight with the "planning" Shay behind it. Planning out my life has always been something I've done since I was little. Now I am taking a break from that side of me.

Due to the fact that my vision has been impaired, 
I have recently hit a wall. 


Or have I?

This weekend I was able to open one of my eyes to get a small glimpse of the whole scheme of life.  The planning Shay is trying to break free but I need to keep her locked up for awhile longer so she doesn't over analyze the situation. (And yes, I referred to myself in third person. That just happened.)

Maybe this one glimpse can guide me to another adventure in life. Maybe that adventure won't last long. . Maybe it will last a lifetime . .

Whatever it may be, I am excited. I know this is a really vague post.. Some may know what I'm referring to, but those that are completely lost - hopefully it will make sense in the near future.